My Baby's Growing Up! (a little ramble-y)

This weekend so far has been filled with looking at baby pictures of the kids and thinking back on all the memories.  I wish I had more time to really just think about it all!  The past 10 years have been filled with so many of them.  Miles moving into the double-digits has gotten me emotional for some reason and while I'm ready and excited to move on to a new chapter in Miles life, I'm also a little sad and nostalgic.  I remember my pregnancy and labor with him like it was yesterday.

I found out at the end of my Senior year that I was pregnant with Miles and I remember crying at the doctor's office because I didn't really know how to feel.  I knew I always wanted children, but at 18 and not married, I was scared!  I came home and called one of my best friends, Jill and she came over and we cried together and by the time she left, I was still a little nervous but getting happy and excited for what lay ahead.  The hardest part was telling Dan because I was nervous about how he would feel.  We had talked marriage, but not for several years down the road.  I remember my heart beating so fast and my hands sweaty and clammy lol ( the things that stick out in your mind lol)  He just stared at me and first and asked if I was serious.  When asked what he wanted to do, he said he wasn't going anywhere and that we were in it together.   My mom came in and talked to us and said that this baby would either tear us apart or bring us closer together... well we've been together for 11 years, and the road's been rough, but we're still going!
The next nine months were spent thinking about names, getting a room together, buying all the things we would need, and making plans.  Most of our family and friends were excited for us, and with their support we got everything together.
The day I went into labor, I was home alone and eating breakfast.  I was pretty sure my water had broken sometime in the night because around noon that day my back was killing me and even though I couldn't feel the contractions, my stomach would tighten up.  I drove to the doctor's office where he told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly because my water had completely broken and the baby was on his way.  I drove there and called Dan at work and my mom. 

I ended up having a c-section the next morning because after two hours of pushing he wasn't coming down and was too far up to move him.  He was head down, but 'sunny-side' up!  My mom came into the room with me because by that time Dan was going to faint.  As soon as I heard Miles cry I bawled my eyes out and my mom held him against me and my first words were "he's so beautiful and perfect"  and then I passed out  lol!  I never knew just how much you could possibly love someone until I looked into his eyes!  I never understood what my mom was talking about when she said that when you hold him and look at him for the first time such an overwhelming sense of love and a fierce need to protect him will just wash over you, until I did just that. 

I don't look great in this picture, but this was my first one taken with him.

This was one of the happiest days of my life!  I love all my children and feel so blessed to have each of them.  I would never change  a thing no matter how hard is was to be a  mom, and still is sometimes.  Miles has helped me see things through his eyes and see the beauty in this world and all the amazing things we have to be thankful for.  He keeps me grounded and while sometimes motherhood hasn't been so great, I've loved being a mom and I've loved most of every minute! 

So, bring on the double-digits and all the new things this chapter of our lives brings!  I'm confident enough in myself as a mom that the next 8 years, as Miles becomes an adult, that he will grow up to be a fine young man ( several of his friends' moms tell me all the time that he is the quietest most polite boy... sorry had to brag a little!)

I also have faith that my mom is looking down and so proud of me and my children!