Last weekend I was super brave and let Miles have a 10th birthday party all- nighter with a few friends from school. He's been begging Dan and I to have a party at Incredible Pizza and since it was his 10th birthday and he's never had a party with friends with school, we decided to splurge!
The party was great! We've never been there before and it was a blast! Even Annabel got to play a few games. The place was packed, but way better than Chuck E Cheese.
He invited his 3 best friends, and I love watching him with his friends, he just shines and becomes so outgoing. His friends are great kids too! It was definately crazy and boys are super loud, but I loved it and I'm so excited to have a houseful of friends when they're older!
I see so much of myself in Miles: his sincerety, the way he really cares about others, his determination, and he has such passion for the things he's interested in. Unlike most kids, he's known exactly what he's wanted to be when he grows up since he was 5; a marine biologist... I should've known he'd love ocean life for as many times as he watched Finding Nemo when he was younger lol!)
He wants to know everything about the ocean and his biggest interest right now is the Titanic, and he wants to someday be able to explore it! I hope he never loses sight of his goals and tries his best!
I look at my son, all of my children, and an overwhelming sense of pride bursts through me and I can't help but smile inside.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
My Baby's Growing Up! (a little ramble-y)
This weekend so far has been filled with looking at baby pictures of the kids and thinking back on all the memories. I wish I had more time to really just think about it all! The past 10 years have been filled with so many of them. Miles moving into the double-digits has gotten me emotional for some reason and while I'm ready and excited to move on to a new chapter in Miles life, I'm also a little sad and nostalgic. I remember my pregnancy and labor with him like it was yesterday.
I found out at the end of my Senior year that I was pregnant with Miles and I remember crying at the doctor's office because I didn't really know how to feel. I knew I always wanted children, but at 18 and not married, I was scared! I came home and called one of my best friends, Jill and she came over and we cried together and by the time she left, I was still a little nervous but getting happy and excited for what lay ahead. The hardest part was telling Dan because I was nervous about how he would feel. We had talked marriage, but not for several years down the road. I remember my heart beating so fast and my hands sweaty and clammy lol ( the things that stick out in your mind lol) He just stared at me and first and asked if I was serious. When asked what he wanted to do, he said he wasn't going anywhere and that we were in it together. My mom came in and talked to us and said that this baby would either tear us apart or bring us closer together... well we've been together for 11 years, and the road's been rough, but we're still going!
The next nine months were spent thinking about names, getting a room together, buying all the things we would need, and making plans. Most of our family and friends were excited for us, and with their support we got everything together.
The day I went into labor, I was home alone and eating breakfast. I was pretty sure my water had broken sometime in the night because around noon that day my back was killing me and even though I couldn't feel the contractions, my stomach would tighten up. I drove to the doctor's office where he told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly because my water had completely broken and the baby was on his way. I drove there and called Dan at work and my mom.
I ended up having a c-section the next morning because after two hours of pushing he wasn't coming down and was too far up to move him. He was head down, but 'sunny-side' up! My mom came into the room with me because by that time Dan was going to faint. As soon as I heard Miles cry I bawled my eyes out and my mom held him against me and my first words were "he's so beautiful and perfect" and then I passed out lol! I never knew just how much you could possibly love someone until I looked into his eyes! I never understood what my mom was talking about when she said that when you hold him and look at him for the first time such an overwhelming sense of love and a fierce need to protect him will just wash over you, until I did just that.
I don't look great in this picture, but this was my first one taken with him.
This was one of the happiest days of my life! I love all my children and feel so blessed to have each of them. I would never change a thing no matter how hard is was to be a mom, and still is sometimes. Miles has helped me see things through his eyes and see the beauty in this world and all the amazing things we have to be thankful for. He keeps me grounded and while sometimes motherhood hasn't been so great, I've loved being a mom and I've loved most of every minute!
So, bring on the double-digits and all the new things this chapter of our lives brings! I'm confident enough in myself as a mom that the next 8 years, as Miles becomes an adult, that he will grow up to be a fine young man ( several of his friends' moms tell me all the time that he is the quietest most polite boy... sorry had to brag a little!)
I also have faith that my mom is looking down and so proud of me and my children!
I found out at the end of my Senior year that I was pregnant with Miles and I remember crying at the doctor's office because I didn't really know how to feel. I knew I always wanted children, but at 18 and not married, I was scared! I came home and called one of my best friends, Jill and she came over and we cried together and by the time she left, I was still a little nervous but getting happy and excited for what lay ahead. The hardest part was telling Dan because I was nervous about how he would feel. We had talked marriage, but not for several years down the road. I remember my heart beating so fast and my hands sweaty and clammy lol ( the things that stick out in your mind lol) He just stared at me and first and asked if I was serious. When asked what he wanted to do, he said he wasn't going anywhere and that we were in it together. My mom came in and talked to us and said that this baby would either tear us apart or bring us closer together... well we've been together for 11 years, and the road's been rough, but we're still going!
The next nine months were spent thinking about names, getting a room together, buying all the things we would need, and making plans. Most of our family and friends were excited for us, and with their support we got everything together.
The day I went into labor, I was home alone and eating breakfast. I was pretty sure my water had broken sometime in the night because around noon that day my back was killing me and even though I couldn't feel the contractions, my stomach would tighten up. I drove to the doctor's office where he told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly because my water had completely broken and the baby was on his way. I drove there and called Dan at work and my mom.
This was one of the happiest days of my life! I love all my children and feel so blessed to have each of them. I would never change a thing no matter how hard is was to be a mom, and still is sometimes. Miles has helped me see things through his eyes and see the beauty in this world and all the amazing things we have to be thankful for. He keeps me grounded and while sometimes motherhood hasn't been so great, I've loved being a mom and I've loved most of every minute!
So, bring on the double-digits and all the new things this chapter of our lives brings! I'm confident enough in myself as a mom that the next 8 years, as Miles becomes an adult, that he will grow up to be a fine young man ( several of his friends' moms tell me all the time that he is the quietest most polite boy... sorry had to brag a little!)
I also have faith that my mom is looking down and so proud of me and my children!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The last two weeks have been filled with chaos lol! Between school, work, basketball and wrestling practice, birthdays and our anniversary I feel like we have hardly been home!
So far 2012 has been full of great things and I hope the year continues to be filled with blessings!
January 3rd we were blessed with a second handsome and healthy nephew: Tanner Reece!
January 5th we celebrated Dan's birthday!
January 9th Dan and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary-- 11 years together and we are blessed with three wonderful children!
Yesterday Miles had his last regular season basketball game and has a tournament this Wednesday! He's had such a blast, so we decided to splurge and get a basketball goal for the driveway so he can practice in the spring and summer to get ready for next season.
Nicholas started his wrestling practice last week and so far he is enjoying it. This is his first year and he is learning pretty quickly. I love that they use a lot of exercise along with learning the moves you need. I can't wait to see him during a match!
Annabel is really starting to talk up a storm! Every morning she wakes up and says Happy Birthday and is learning to tell me what she wants instead of just pointing or whining. She still won't let me put her hair in a ponytail or use any barettes, but she loves her toenails painted and says it's pretty! She loves her babydolls and sings to them and feeds them cookies. Everytime we get in the car she sings and tries to dance. When we ask her if she's hungry she says nugee (nuggets) and mik (her word for any drink) She continues to be a big mommy's girl right now and doesn't like sharing my lap with the boys- she comes and pushes them out of the way and will hit them with her sippy cup and talk some sort of jibberish we think isn't very nice! lol! She does have her moments where she only wnats Daddy though and it's so cute to watch them together. Dan doesn't like pictures or I would have some cute ones to post.
As most everyone knows, last October I was given a wonderful opportunity out of the blue and my friend Molly asked if I wanted to come and work for her! I am so happy to be leaving behind retail, and now I have an even better opportunity to start some college classes! I work at Methodist Hospital for a company called Cardinal Health and work in the pharmacy doing e-recovery where we work to get authorization from patients who don't have insurance or only has limited coverage and apply to the drup companies to get certain drugs free for them, in turn the hospital doesn't have to pay for that medicine as well. I really feel like I am doing a lot of good and helping people who need it! I absolutley love it and I love being home with my kids every night and on the weekends. I feel like we get more family time!
Tomorrow I am starting my weight loss journey and am determined to be 50 pounds lighter by my 30th birthday in November! Wish me luck!
So far 2012 has been full of great things and I hope the year continues to be filled with blessings!
January 3rd we were blessed with a second handsome and healthy nephew: Tanner Reece!
January 5th we celebrated Dan's birthday!
January 9th Dan and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary-- 11 years together and we are blessed with three wonderful children!
Yesterday Miles had his last regular season basketball game and has a tournament this Wednesday! He's had such a blast, so we decided to splurge and get a basketball goal for the driveway so he can practice in the spring and summer to get ready for next season.
Nicholas started his wrestling practice last week and so far he is enjoying it. This is his first year and he is learning pretty quickly. I love that they use a lot of exercise along with learning the moves you need. I can't wait to see him during a match!
Annabel is really starting to talk up a storm! Every morning she wakes up and says Happy Birthday and is learning to tell me what she wants instead of just pointing or whining. She still won't let me put her hair in a ponytail or use any barettes, but she loves her toenails painted and says it's pretty! She loves her babydolls and sings to them and feeds them cookies. Everytime we get in the car she sings and tries to dance. When we ask her if she's hungry she says nugee (nuggets) and mik (her word for any drink) She continues to be a big mommy's girl right now and doesn't like sharing my lap with the boys- she comes and pushes them out of the way and will hit them with her sippy cup and talk some sort of jibberish we think isn't very nice! lol! She does have her moments where she only wnats Daddy though and it's so cute to watch them together. Dan doesn't like pictures or I would have some cute ones to post.
As most everyone knows, last October I was given a wonderful opportunity out of the blue and my friend Molly asked if I wanted to come and work for her! I am so happy to be leaving behind retail, and now I have an even better opportunity to start some college classes! I work at Methodist Hospital for a company called Cardinal Health and work in the pharmacy doing e-recovery where we work to get authorization from patients who don't have insurance or only has limited coverage and apply to the drup companies to get certain drugs free for them, in turn the hospital doesn't have to pay for that medicine as well. I really feel like I am doing a lot of good and helping people who need it! I absolutley love it and I love being home with my kids every night and on the weekends. I feel like we get more family time!
Tomorrow I am starting my weight loss journey and am determined to be 50 pounds lighter by my 30th birthday in November! Wish me luck!
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Year Resolutions! (and my Mom)
I don't like to make New Year resolutions mostly because I never keep them after the first month and really if you're going to change something about yourself why does it have to be New Years?! However after the amazing year I've had I decided I owed it to myself and God to strive toward a few goals this year, basically what I always strive to do, but I'm really going to try my hardest this time!
1. Not yell as often and be more patient.
2. Spend time with those who matter the most- family, friends.
3. Really try to lose weight!
4. Spend more time praying and incorporating it into my life better.
... and this is the hardest and one it's hard to admit to...
5. Learn how to let go of my anger and learn how to forgive more
This last one will be my biggest challenge and with God's help I hope to be more peaceful at the end of the year!
My Mom's been really weighing on my heart the last few weeks and let's face it, rivers of tears have been spilled! I don't know why all of a sudden her death has really been on my mind, but I have a feeling God is telling me it's time to finish 'the grieving process' I've been so busy putting myself last that I've just pushed to the side something that needs to be done, and I've decided that I'm still on the anger step... angry that she didnt' try harder to get better, angry that I should've pushed her more instead of arguing with her, angry that I wasn't a better daughter and was selfish about giving my time to her and being tired of taking care of her, angry and hurt that her death made me feel helpless and abandoned, and hurt that it made me feel like we didn't matter enough to her, and angry and hurt that she's not here for her grandchildren!
This is what I need to work through in order to finally accept that she's gone and maybe my heart won't hurt so much, maybe I won't feel as lonely, and maybe I can learn to forgive others more easily if I can forgive my Mom for leaving!
I wrote several poems when my mom died and I wanted to read one at her funeral, but they just seemed too personal and too private to share and honestly a little dark.
Actually, I never share any of my poems because to me they have always seemed too personal a glimpse into my life and what I feel and it's not just sharing a poem, it's sharing the most personal part of who I am and that's always scared me for people to see that far into my soul because rejection has always been my biggest fear and what better way to avoid that than to keep it all bottled inside?!
I'm not ready to share any yet, but maybe this blog will help me to learn how to do that too!
Thank you if you made it this far through my blog, I feel a lot better getting some feelings out in the open! God Bless you!
1. Not yell as often and be more patient.
2. Spend time with those who matter the most- family, friends.
3. Really try to lose weight!
4. Spend more time praying and incorporating it into my life better.
... and this is the hardest and one it's hard to admit to...
5. Learn how to let go of my anger and learn how to forgive more
This last one will be my biggest challenge and with God's help I hope to be more peaceful at the end of the year!
My Mom's been really weighing on my heart the last few weeks and let's face it, rivers of tears have been spilled! I don't know why all of a sudden her death has really been on my mind, but I have a feeling God is telling me it's time to finish 'the grieving process' I've been so busy putting myself last that I've just pushed to the side something that needs to be done, and I've decided that I'm still on the anger step... angry that she didnt' try harder to get better, angry that I should've pushed her more instead of arguing with her, angry that I wasn't a better daughter and was selfish about giving my time to her and being tired of taking care of her, angry and hurt that her death made me feel helpless and abandoned, and hurt that it made me feel like we didn't matter enough to her, and angry and hurt that she's not here for her grandchildren!
This is what I need to work through in order to finally accept that she's gone and maybe my heart won't hurt so much, maybe I won't feel as lonely, and maybe I can learn to forgive others more easily if I can forgive my Mom for leaving!
I wrote several poems when my mom died and I wanted to read one at her funeral, but they just seemed too personal and too private to share and honestly a little dark.
Actually, I never share any of my poems because to me they have always seemed too personal a glimpse into my life and what I feel and it's not just sharing a poem, it's sharing the most personal part of who I am and that's always scared me for people to see that far into my soul because rejection has always been my biggest fear and what better way to avoid that than to keep it all bottled inside?!
I'm not ready to share any yet, but maybe this blog will help me to learn how to do that too!
Thank you if you made it this far through my blog, I feel a lot better getting some feelings out in the open! God Bless you!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Hello World
I wish that I had started a blog 10 years ago when I was pregnant with Miles, but even now I am not very computer savvy and hope that I will be able to figure this out in no time!
I thought that starting the new year with a blog would give me a place to brag about the accomplishments of my children and to write about how proud I am to be their mom and how grateful I am to God for giving me this amazing adventure of motherhood to embark on! Plus it's a way to let family keep up on everything that's going on and also a way for me to remember all the beautiful memories we make.
So, to catch eveyone up on our lives- Miles will soon be tuning 10 (less than a month) I'm not really sure where all the time has gone and can't possible believe that he will be in the double digits. He wants to be a Marine Biologist (since he was 6) and discover new sea-life and explore the Titanic.
He isn't into sports as much as he is into drawing and has a super huge imagination, but he decided to play basketball and has loved every minute of it even though he still has a lot to learn!
Nicholas just turned 7 at the end of November and will still cuddle with his Momma! He has an inquisitive mind and has a need to know how everything works and why! He loves numbers and is going to be a whiz in math, he remembers things so easily and hardly has to do something twice before he's got it down! In school his reading skills are beyond first grade level! He loves sports and this coming year will be starting wrestling. He wants to be a policeman when he grows up and put the bad guys in jail.
Annabel is turning 2 in three weeks and so far continues to be 'the boss' I have a feeling she's going to be able to get anything she wants out of Daddy and her big brothers! Even though her words are becoming clearer, she still speaks jabber and totally has the tone and demeanor of someone who doesn't mind giving you a piece of her mind and letting you know what she wants. A total diva! I can't wait to see her fiery personality evolve! She LOVES music and sings and dances to anything-- even my singing!
I thank God each morning that He brought these amazing children into my life! They are definately my greatest blessing in life!
I thought that starting the new year with a blog would give me a place to brag about the accomplishments of my children and to write about how proud I am to be their mom and how grateful I am to God for giving me this amazing adventure of motherhood to embark on! Plus it's a way to let family keep up on everything that's going on and also a way for me to remember all the beautiful memories we make.
So, to catch eveyone up on our lives- Miles will soon be tuning 10 (less than a month) I'm not really sure where all the time has gone and can't possible believe that he will be in the double digits. He wants to be a Marine Biologist (since he was 6) and discover new sea-life and explore the Titanic.
He isn't into sports as much as he is into drawing and has a super huge imagination, but he decided to play basketball and has loved every minute of it even though he still has a lot to learn!
Nicholas just turned 7 at the end of November and will still cuddle with his Momma! He has an inquisitive mind and has a need to know how everything works and why! He loves numbers and is going to be a whiz in math, he remembers things so easily and hardly has to do something twice before he's got it down! In school his reading skills are beyond first grade level! He loves sports and this coming year will be starting wrestling. He wants to be a policeman when he grows up and put the bad guys in jail.
Annabel is turning 2 in three weeks and so far continues to be 'the boss' I have a feeling she's going to be able to get anything she wants out of Daddy and her big brothers! Even though her words are becoming clearer, she still speaks jabber and totally has the tone and demeanor of someone who doesn't mind giving you a piece of her mind and letting you know what she wants. A total diva! I can't wait to see her fiery personality evolve! She LOVES music and sings and dances to anything-- even my singing!
I thank God each morning that He brought these amazing children into my life! They are definately my greatest blessing in life!
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